two steps back and one forward

The end of the final year of my dance studies is approaching, and I am catching myself doing some weird mind dancing with performed choreography titled 'two steps back and one forward'. This involves looking back at things I have learned and gained as well as what did not. And suddenly it seems that I am having balance with minus.
Would it be just me being anxious about the future or it is so common and popular syndrome of pre-graduation?
However, there are many jobs to be done before I can call myself graduate. In preparation to my Final Major Project, I am reminded about one of the readings given in class 'A Sense of Place: Reflection on the Role of Environment in Dance Movement Therapy' by Sandra Reeve where she talks about 'embodied' living referring on Halprin:
'Embodied - means to feel oneself through bodily felt responses in the moment...ultimately the embodied life would be one in which the physical body, feelings and mind are being expressed creatively in congruence with each other and with the changing nature of reality'.
In relation to this quote and some recent discussion with my Final Major Project tutor I have a question ( Voila! No surprises!) : How to stay embodied (including everything mentioned above) and tuned in into the ever changing reality and not get into the certain state of performing?

I twist. You twist. Both of us twist?

Today taken by memories I went to the safe place, this doesn't happen every time when I get carried by my memories. So today was a good day and I would say I felt honored to 'walk in the studio' one more time for Cecilia Macfarlane's workshop which took place some time ago in January. 

Yes, good things take time and come to those who wait :) Some processing take time and so did I with the all vast information that had been generously given during the workshop.

Undoubtedly, information has been running trough my 'brain tubes' and have been filtered trough the filter - HOW DO I KNOW WHEN I KNOW, which is developing and possibly ever lasting research of mine.

In the workshop we were given a task to created small choreography based on the personal and intimate act from our daily routine. Of course, the choice of this act was individual and based on the subjective experience of each person in the room. After a creating choreography, we got to share it with each other. Moreover, we had to give choreography away and let it live in other body. This is how something personal and subjective became shared and objective.

In relation to my 'lifetime' research of knowing or/and unknowing, I am particularly interested in this twist from subjectivity to objectivity. 

It is no secret I like to ask questions. So here it comes, get ready!

Can something that I know you can know too?

And how do you know when I know? 

In other words, when and how knowing becomes not only subjective, but objective too? Can knowing be shared collectively or it will always remain a little bit individual and subjective? 

How to be a fish in the sea?

I guess this post will be one of the  bad day posts as I promised in one of the previous posts in the beginning of this term.
I am having some inner battle or maybe even few of them since couple weeks already. It keeps me busy and doesn't allow to get some university related tasks done nor enjoy time of not doing them. Every thought seems to be locked away from me. And I am not able to find the right key to unchain it. So, they keep banging against their cages and making unbearable noise in my head. It makes me deaf from inside and outside leaving me paralysed and wishing only one - to be a fish in the sea.
Yesterday during or in between one of the battles I found an answer that I am going to practice deliberately. I am going to stop this hard thinking and will switch to  the soft thinking (terms taken from chapter of G.Claxton  book 'Wise Up: The Challenge of Lifelong Learning'.) .
I am going to follow Rudyard Kipling suggestion : ' When your Daemon is in charge, do not try to think consciously. Drift; wait; obey.'
I am giving my serried monsters freedom to dive in the waters of mind and swim freely like a fish :)

Please, share your experiences and strategies  how you deal with your inner voices and feeling of being overloaded.


Reference
Claxton G (1999). Wise Up: The Challenge of Lifelong Learning. N.Y.: Bloomsbury
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